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Sunday, October 24th, 2010
1:13 pm
i told myself when i left chicago i'd never work a day job again.

it's only been about 7 weeks, but i think i'm going to keep that promise to myself.

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Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
2:35 pm
i feel powerful and smooth.

activate montage where i clean up my life.

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Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
1:47 pm - ugh
i feel a serious existential crsis coming on strong, and trying my best to hold it at a distance.

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Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
5:04 pm
i should update like i used to. all exposed and shit.

that got me in trouble once...but i'd like to be a better blogger.
march resolution.

i turn 23 in a month.

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Tuesday, February 10th, 2009
10:59 am
a man on the train late last night was screaming about race wars.
he got into the faces of all the drunk white boys on our car
and threw a quarter at my head.

as soon as we were out of danger my first thought was
'i need to do the dutchman. i need to do the dutchman on the south side.'

and maybe i will.

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Thursday, January 8th, 2009
3:43 pm
if lj folds, i will become homicidal. 7 years with this blog, and i will not go quietly.
however, i did find a very funny bit from a blog in response to ben affleck and jennifer garner having a baby:

'I cannot stand GD kids so if this was supposed to be heart warming it failed on every level. Do you have any idea how much of MY life is regulated because of stupid GD kids that I don’t have? No tits on TV. Why? Kids. "Let's regulate the internet and set up a rating system!" Why? Kids. There are stickers all over my new cars sun visor. Do you know why? That's right. Kids. I DON’T HAVE FUCKING KIDS, AND I'M NOT HERE TO HELP RAISE THE ONES OTHER PEOPLE HAVE. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING KIDS PEOPLE! Do you have any idea how many taxes I pay for after school programs and school breakfast programs and juvenile facilities, all for kids I don’t fucking have, all because some other dipshit had a kid and they’re either too dumb or too poor to raise them. WHY IS THIS ON ME NOW? I DON’T WANNA PAY FOR YOUR STUPID FUCKING KIDS! YOU HAD THEM, YOU RAISE THEM! How many crimes are committed by kids under 16? I m willing to guess it's 98 percent. Who is it kicking off my side mirrors at night and fueling the meth industry? Is it old Asian men, or is it 15-year-old idiots? STOP HAVING KIDS, do whatever you can. If you’re gonna have sex and you don’t have a condom, take your gum and stick that on the end of your penis. Or better yet get a cork and shove that down there, or throw some kitty litter in her vagina before you start. Do something, anything, i don't care, I'm just sick of your GD kids.

Oh but congratulations to Ben and Jennifer. What a blessed day this is.'

this is from 'what would tyler durden do' blog. i also like the 'stuff white people like' blog. and perezhilton. and gofugyourself.

i need a new hobby.

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Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
7:20 pm
i swooned when my boyfriend kissed me goodbye today.
there were extenuating circumstances
but i think that is a nice indication
that he's a keeper.

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Sunday, November 16th, 2008
1:02 am
sooo my phone was stolen on wednesday night. thought i just lost it. nope. stoled.

let's make a count shall we of the thievery in the young ms. cowper's life:

item #1: cell phone- january '06 from york green room during a rehearsal of 'dead man walking'. criminal deleted voicemails. dick.
item #2: bike- june '07 from my front porch in kalamazoo. they left the chain though and i wore it around while everyone gave me lots of drinks at the boys house that night.
item #3: purse- november '07 from the passenger seat of my saturn vue. the culprit broke the window and stole the purse. police recovered the purse with wallet and all its contents minus 2 dollars and a digital camera.
item #4: wallet- july '08 from my purse in a thai restaurant. pick pocketer lifted this bad boy moments before i was going to see 'the dark knight' essentially ruining my cinematic experience. wallet was recovered by a gas station attendant minus everything of financial value ie debit card, drivers license, checks etc. they spent a lot of money at target and of course, the beloved gas station.
item #5: phone- november '08 from my hand? my pocket? my leaving it on the seat? i was on the red line around midnight and it was crowded, sort of falling asleep after my 3 vodka tonics and woke up the next morning to find myself phoneless. the perp sent a lot of text messages apparently.
item #6: my heart- every moment since i've met beaufaiz&david. these three homos swooped in when i wasn't looking and FORCED me to fall in love with them. bitches.

funny, not one of these experiences (minus the faux #6) i was even conscious of in the moment.
i am too easily distracted methinks. even after all these years i will stare at people who are talking and not listen to a word. don't trust me with your valuables, or your babies.

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Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
11:59 pm
i met jeff perry tonight on the train. my number one favorite chicago actor. i had a pin of his face in my bag. i introduced myself nervously and told him today was my first day at steppenwolf. he's in town rehearsing 'august' to take to the london. i wanted to lick his sweet bumbling face. omg omg omg. i met and shook amy morton's hand earlier in the afternoon. jeff said he'd see me around steppenwolf. i LOVE him. i love this town.

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Sunday, October 5th, 2008
10:02 pm
jack: so do you conclude that men are more interesting in theory than in practice?
warnie: i find it safer never to conclude anything.

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Monday, September 8th, 2008
3:27 pm
maybe i'm the only homo who still watches the vmas but they just seem to get increasingly...hesitant? between britney's lack luster welcome to russell brand attemping political and sexual jokes to no laughter to lip synching to unimpressive house bands? cmooooonnnn! balls to the wall people. it's mtv. i guess performers get so destroyed when they fuck up that they don't even try. failing is sort of lovely, everyone loves a good comeback no?

getting 'retarded' on weds. i'll let you know.

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Sunday, August 24th, 2008
10:32 pm
nothing exciting really. stratford was really really great. hamlet AND cabaret in the same year? pure bliss.

i was listening to the national while i was boarding my plane home and i stopped dead when this lyric came on:

'i think i'm like tennessee williams i wait for the click. i wait but it doesn't kick in.'

love the reference! who recognizes the play/character?

yup semi obscure theatre references in an indie rock song was the highlight of my last few days.

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Tuesday, August 19th, 2008
12:59 am
airports. love them.
plane delays? not so much.

detroit, despite all its problems, has a really kick ass airport. tonight i got off the plane, pissed because of the delay, and i walked past a gate with lots of people sitting around it leaving for amsterdam. i want to board an international flight right now.

i'm going to stratford tomorrow, so i guess that counts.

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Saturday, August 16th, 2008
9:27 pm
i've been cast in my first show in chicago.

it's a play that is apart of a week long 24 play project for new playwrights,
so i feel like i can't legitimately say i've been cast in something because it's not so big.

BUT hold onto your hats because the title of the play is 'Retarded'.

i shit you not. rock and roll.

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Monday, August 11th, 2008
9:45 pm
weird 24 hours.

'nuff said.

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Wednesday, July 16th, 2008
9:21 am - cityscape from the brown line
good morning bloggers!

fun week, lots of work, parents came into town.
watched the storm roll in over lake michigan with an old friend at 2am with vodka and orange juice,
had sushi and red wine outside on a beautiful night and saw WANTED (james mccavoy would be my neighbor judged on how damn close they shot to my apartment) with my favorite man in blue.
david came to town, and i almost wish i was moving to new york just to hang out with him at the end of the day.

had my meeting with the head of training at second city yesterday to ask about the directing program etc,
and i am...intimidated. it's not outside of reason, but the world of improv is way more foreign to me then i thought. she suggested i take some classes (okay, cool i expected that), see lots of improv and theater (no problem, i need to do that more anyway) and audition and join a real improv team (WHAT?! ack! in chicago? eek!) overall, i have no idea if i will be accepted to this program or not. i have a feeling my age is going to be a huge disadvantage. just gotta get involved in a lot of stuff over the next year.

graduated from my first scene in my acting class downtown, and it went really well.
i got assigned to be catherine in 'proof' for the rest of class. omg. omg. omg. yes! (fist pump)

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Monday, June 16th, 2008
8:10 pm - going to get stoned and watch a movie.
just about every other week
i have a strong desire to wear loads of eye makeup, smoke cigarettes
and either do some form of visual art or talk shit with strangers.

except i wear a good amount of eye makeup daily,
and while i'm good at holding them, i'm indifferent to smoking
and i'm a really lousy artist
and i prefer to talk shit with friends. less hurdles to jump before you get to the good stuff.

doesn't stop my desire to be someone i'm not.
in fact nothing stop that desire, probably why i became an actress.

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Thursday, June 12th, 2008
2:59 pm - klostermania!
had an afternoon.
after contemplating spending another day praying the internet holds up long enough for me to watch an entire episode of anything on surfthechannel.com, i throw a load of laundry in the dryer and visit my neighborhood library. the library is very late 80's, complete with a poster of david bowie in a varsity jacket perched on an invisible chair reading a book.

i leave the library with 3 books: streetcar named desire (i've never read it), i will bear witness (a journal of nazi germany from 1933-1941 because i am the kind of person who can't get enough of the atrocities of world war ii) and killing myself to live: 95% a true story by chuck klosterman (an author i've had recommended to me several times).

klosterman. i almost feel guilty, or sick to my stomach, like i'm doing a bad thing i like his writing so much. guilty pleasure doesn't describe it. i feel like i should be writing down everything i experience.

like today, after laying by lake michigan reading where a shirtless homeless man kept saying "4:13, southside, downtown, northside, it's always 4:13", i went to a diner where i heard they serve raw food (because i am the kind of person that decides eating nothing but raw food for a month is a good idea). and i'm read read reading, as i eat my raw echilada, when the cute gay waiter with red hair and a rat tail suggests i have the pineapple/avodcado raw cheesecake (umm yes!) and a woman sits next to me. she orders the raw enchillada on my recommendation (she looks like an african american news lady from 1997 on her day off in her oversized denim button down and baseball cap) and we chat about our raw diets like it's the most normal thing in the world.

the paragraph didn't have an ending. i work in 45 minutes. i'm a hot child in the city.

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Saturday, June 7th, 2008
11:48 pm - a note on a napkin from two old men at the bar

you're bright but ditch the gum.


*the manda lines up under the a in dear

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Monday, June 2nd, 2008
9:21 pm
kaitlin and i saw 'sex and the city' today. we both balled pretty much through the whole thing.
it's sad, but those characters are so close to my heart. such a cliche.
i remember kaitlin, becky and i watching the entire series the summer before i left for college,
and here i am just graduated from college living in a big city with kaitlin.
it's really beautiful when things unfold like that, clean and pleasantly predictable.

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